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Starting Over Again?!
I Can’t Figure Out Where To Be — A Rant
I lived in 3 cities total excluding my hometown. I moved to Milwaukee for school, Seattle, just because and Dallas for a chance to settle down. I liked many things about each of those cities. Milwaukee is very quaint and has a beautiful lakefront. Seattle is so liberal and you can pretty much be whoever the hell you want to. Everyone is so used to the fuckery of the city. Dallas had amazing food and amazing weather. But somehow, I could not envision myself living in these places long-term. They all just lacked something.
One day as I was scrolling through the internets, like we all do. I happened to type “I hate everywhere” in the search bar. And it led me to a YouTuber named Jouelzy. Sis has lived in a bunch of places. I felt relieved that there are people who feel the same way as me. But why is that? Why do some people find contentment in being in one city and they are able to settle down and enjoy life. While others like myself are always searching. What are we searching for?
Fast forward and I’m now back in my home state of Illinois. Everything is so foreign to me. And no surprise, I hate it here. Considering I’m in the boring burbs, I could move out to Chicago. But again, I just can’t imagine living there. I’m definitely in between a rock and a hard place. And the more I think about it, the more I want to move. It sucks to be a directionless adult. At some point, I will have to find a place and stay there. But the place that I want to be probably doesn’t exist.
